Jar

Strange jealousy over an assumption. Curiosity killed the cat and cracked the fragile confidence I had. 

Now I unhappily sit in a jar, that I was once so content to be placed in. Why did you put me in here? I guess I'm only a souvenir-protected and cherished, but never played with. I mustn't forget I'm  off limits to others as well.

Why don't I try to escape? Why don't I flee from these suffocatingly pathetic dreams...

Someday I'll break out. Someday you'll come to look for me and all you will find on your shelf, is shattered glass.

See

You can see me but I can't see you.

It's not fair.

But hiding seems beneath me.

Maybe I want you to see,

even if you don't let me.

Friendship

It will always be enough...to feel otherwise is simply selfish.

It's not pathetic to care about someone, just because they don't feel the same way about me. 

And I do. I care for real. It'll never stop and I'm glad, because...

friendship will always be enough.

Quote on egg from Malice in Wonderland

Blind

How will I ever see past him?

After seeing his flaws, why does his image only grow, blocking out the view of all other men?

It's sad really, because it's very likely he doesn't see me that way, yet my heart is not fettered. My heart dreams away, fading my vision, dimming all other men to a dull grey. He is in technicolor, so bright and vivid and blinding.

My mind should know better. I'm not a silly teenager anymore. My faith and trust have been battered and broken, so how can I accept my heart's dreams? Why does my mind not stomp out those naive hopes, and make my heart listen to reason? Why does it not remind me he ignores me, doesn't have time for me and doesn't see me that way? 

Why can't my mind clear my vision, to let anyone else in?

With all of my intelligence, my heart still steers the ship. And even if it doesn't make any sense, even if all signs point to forever friend zoned, there's still that part of my heart that believes in John Hughes' happy endings. An ending where I was the one all along...

Such a pitifully stupid heart I have...to believe such nonsense. But it does, beyond all reason, and so I may forever remain blinded by his technicolor, past which all that's left is grey.

You're So Vain

You're so vain you probably think these [blogs] are about you, don't you, don't you? (Carly Simon)

Maybe you're right...maybe some of them are about you. But if you're reading this, maybe you should stop stalking and start talking!! 

;)

For all those with unrequited crushes out there!! 

JYM

Les Miserables - On My Own

All time favorite! I sound better in this vid but well I did it on a whim so I'm not cuted up. Hahah

But this is what single mom's do. The lyrics I mean. Because even if we find someone, they have to fit so many prerequisites, we have to be willing to spend time away from our children AND they have to want to be a part of the madness!!!

So this is the all the beautiful single moms who only can dream for now...

Unknown

Fear of crossing lines, so the boundaries are stretched to capacity. Staying in place is safe and full of smiles. Across that line is the unknown. There's no going back once that line is breached. Maybe you could lose everything or maybe you could get everything you've ever wanted or needed...

But it's not your choice to make. So, you'll just stay safe and smile.

Fear

Fear of losing those smiles, those moments I can cause a blush

Fear of my lack of self control

Fear of saying the wrong thing

Fear I'll never be able to say everything I long to say

Fear that this hope inside me will crush me one day. 

But none of these fears are as great as the fear of losing this feeling...and the dream. 

Losing that would be a tragedy.

JYM

Move Out!

Stop consuming my mind! It's unfair that I only take up the smallest corner of your mind for brief moments, while you unpack your things and move into every room of mine.
And that corner I occasionally reside in is most likely hidden away, in a basement or attic, far from the public. A dark secret...even you won't admit to.
So move out!! Go!! Leave my mind alone, because I can't keep thinking about you, when you think so little of me.
Your bread crumbs are not enough...And yet I still chirp away, begging for them, devouring every bit as though they were four course meals.
Someday I'll give up. Someday when I'm strong enough, I'll move you into the attic.

I wonder what part of your mind I'll reside in then.

I Want More

I Want More

I'll never have enough of you.

You can't-

Tell enough stories.

Laugh enough.

Smile enough.

I want every story, every laugh, every smile.

I'm taking everyone you give me, maybe even some that are not meant for me.

They're mine now,

and I'm not even sorry that,

I want more. 

You Can't

Look in my eyes and say that you don't want to be my friend.
Hold my hand and tell me you don't miss me.
Wrap your arms around me and tell me you're not aching.
Kiss my lips and tell me you don't see me that way.

But you won't,
Because you can't...

Just keep your eyes averted and your back turned, so you don't slip and repeat past mistakes.
And leave me here freezing, until you need my support, because you know I'll be here, always waiting...with open arms and a yearning heart.

JYM